I have gone through 1 tube of toothpaste, nearly 1 bottle of 2-1 shampoo and conditioner, and 3 rolls of toilet paper. I still have another tube of toothpaste, 2 more bottles of shampoo, and 1 more roll of toilet paper, and tomorrow marks the halfway point in our program so I’m not too worried about the toothpaste, though the toilet paper might prove troublesome.
It’s been 7 weeks and we have 7 more to go. I run through a mental checklist in my head of what I should have done by now. Since being here I’ve accidentally over paid for a taxi, eaten my weight in rice and beans, drunk rum on the Malecon, visited a beautiful white sand beach, gotten sunburnt, and finally established a quasi-regular sleep schedule. As a group we’ve laughed and fought and gotten over it, and we’ve all slowly come to understand each other’s needs and modes of operating. It all seems in check with program, but I can’t help think of the things I haven’t yet accomplished, the things I thought I would have experienced by now and the things I still want to do. Things like going to museums, visiting the national archives, waiting in line at Coppelia’s, or even just visiting the John Lennon statue. I want to make Cuban friends, and I have a few but not as many as I thought I would. I wanted my Spanish to improve, and I can’t help but feel my fluency is beneath my hopes and expectations. I had been told time and time again before coming here to expect the unexpected, so throughout my preparations for the trip I refused to allow myself any mental imagining of what life in Cuba would be like. I expected nothing. So how is it I feel my experience and I are still falling bellow expectations?
It’s hard in the moment to remember context, to remember where I was before coming here, and to really appreciate the amount of change that has taken place. My tan is a terribly superficial example of this: I don’t perceive my skin to be changing shades because the change is gradual and slowly increases every day, and yet when I look at my feet I see the obvious pale “V” of a flip-flop tan. Maybe my Spanish has gotten better and I just haven’t noticed it—and maybe it hasn’t. Either way, I still have 7 weeks in Cuba and right now, this moment is the time for me to make what changes I need to make in order to meet my goals and to make the most of this experience.