Despedidas

As we enter our final week in Havana, the time has inevitably come when we are forced to accept that we must say goodbye to those we have met here. This reality didn’t really hit me until last night, when a close friend took off for Varadero and had to say an early goodbye. A group of friends and I went over to his house, shared a delicious meal, played dominoes and talked about everything but the reason for why we were there. We all pretended that it was a normal evening at his house, avoiding the painful reality that we would not be seeing each other again for a long time. Eventually, the time came when we had to part and I was, for the first time, hit hard with the realness and closeness of our departure. I have noticed that always with living abroad, it is impossible to imagine oneself anywhere else, until one has left and finds oneself far, far away from everything that had become familiar. I hugged my friend and said my goodbyes, but it wasn’t until blocks away that the true sadness of saying goodbye to this familiar face set in. Our small group of Lewis & Clark students was accompanied by another few Cuban friends who consoled us in our sadness. Softly, one said, “I know it’s sad, but, we’re kind of used to this.” We waited in silence as he continued, “Here, everyone’s always leaving.” Immediately my sadness took on a privileged element. I could be sad, but I always had the opportunity to come back. I had come as a luxury, to get to know another country and learn about another culture, and was leaving to return to a life that I could always choose to enter or leave as I pleased. Later, I got a text from the friend who was leaving- “Maybe I don’t care if I see you again, because you know what, at least I get to say I know you.” To me, used to the excuse “I’ll see you again sometime!” even if it’s far from true, this reality seemed a bit blunt, but to him, the point was to enjoy the pleasure of having crossed paths, knowing that those who leave him for the States rarely come back.