We are at a unique point of the trip where I am finally feeling settled, and completely comfortable living here. I noticed this the other day as I was walking back from Toscana, my favorite restaurant here in Havana. The entire staff there knows me personally, knows what I order, what I am doing here, and when I go to the restaurant I feel like I am eating dinner at a relative’s home. This instance, they lent me one of their Tupperware containers to take some pasta to go. The gesture really made my day. When I was walking back down G towards the house, this strange feeling hit me. When I looked forward towards the ocean and the giant Hotel Presidente sign, it somehow felt different. I have been feeling this way with friendships here as well. All of a sudden it seems as though this enormous pressure of ‘making friends in Cuba’ is gone, because I feel at home in Cuba. I know which busses will take me where I need to go, where the best peso pizza is, where I can find Extremes at 12:00am. The difficult thing for me to cope with is how I can continue to build on this feeling. Does it just remain like this and then I go? How do I build sustainable relationships with the knowledge that I will be leaving in a few weeks now? I feel like I am at a turning point, where I feel like the relationships I have here can’t possibly grow much more in the next couple weeks, so why bother? I feel at home here, but why does it matter? These dramatic skepticisms bring me back to the reality of studying abroad, but I think I am able to acknowledge them, and choose to get even more in it (meaning inside the culture, the experience). When I catch myself thinking like this, it is an excuse to dive in head first rather than go halfway.
For more information on Lewis & Clark Overseas & Off-Campus Programs, visit our website.