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A Place and Its People

October 28, 2015 By Hannah Luzadder

Something that Sunil said while we were back in Delhi has really stuck with me since we’ve been in Chennai. “The people make the place.” I’ve been aware of an air of concern since we’ve been in India, and among other things we’ve been told: it’s dangerous, especially for women, people aren’t nice, they’ll try to take advantage of you, watch your back. These things are true, and especially being from a foreign country, and with the added difficulty of a language barrier it sometimes feels like we’re at a special disadvantage. I’ve found that if I think about these aspects of my experience too much, it’s easy to get stuck in a loop of negativity. In Delhi, Sunil gave us friends. In Chennai, if we wanted friends we had to make them on our own. I can often be shy about creating new friendships, but with Sunil’s guiding voice in mind I decided to challenge myself to make some friends and see what kind of people make up this place called Chennai. After all, without the character of its people, a place is just a bunch of buildings and some landmarks. After taking the necessary precautions given the warnings we’d been receiving since before arriving in India, I managed to meet a group of young people living and working in Chennai. I got to know them over our last two weeks, and the experience radically changed my perception of the city. Amongst the group were doctors, dentists, artists, business men and women, and students, and they taught me a lot about Chennai, the south, and India in general. One of the things they taught me that has really made an impression is the social norm around hospitality. I had noticed that whenever I was around it seemed like their mission was to feed me, whether I had already eaten or not. I talked about my observation to one of the women in the group and what she told me was their norm is that when you have a guest in your house you feed them and give them what they need, and for the guest to refuse what is given gives the impression that what the host has is not good enough. I shared with her my perception of a different take on the norm of hospitality that I’m used to in the states, from the perspective of the guest, where refusing the host making you food or drink may be perceived as saving them time and money for that food, or not being greedy. It was fun to compare social norms with them and then laugh about the differences. I was always impressed with their generosity toward me, as well as toward each other. As a group they were very conscious of the well being of each group member, and individuals would often go out of their way (as I would see it) to make sure all was well. While I know that friend groups that I’m used to at home care much about each other and their well being, what I saw here seemed to be an extreme. Then again, most things I’ve experienced in India seem to be an extreme! Coming out of this leg of the program, I’m happy that Sunil said what he did, and I’m happy that I was able to get myself out of the negative head space I was experiencing that told me that in order to be safe I should disassociate myself from the outside world. I’ll continue to watch my back and be cautious, as I always do regardless of where I am, but I’m learning to find a balance. As a traveler I believe I can be safe and meet people and have amazing experiences at the same time. This time, the friends I met gave me an experience of Chennai that I wouldn’t have gotten without them, and taught me about a social side of their culture that I couldn’t have accessed without their help. Of course one group of people cannot represent the character of an entire city, but given that they were socialized there, they still play a contributing role. In Chennai, the people really made the place for me. I hope to meet them again one day.

 

Filed Under: India Fall 2015

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